wellness stocazzo
marta last night and I went for the wellness program.
in a health club.
in a SPA.
in the ass to the wolves and the fog of nonsisadove suddovest south of Milan. in a place where people who live there, live there for sure punishment, so we have decreed me and Martha.
short, we arrive at this place at the end of a dirt road and realize you have made a misjudgment.
we both thought "is a farmhouse in the countryside, will be a simple place and we dressed as the two run away from home and we brought costume and smashed the oldest we have.
when we discover that the place is very fiqo, very fashion and are all very combed.
hours, we talked about all. are all the couples. couples only.
marta and I look at us and we resign ourselves to go for the gay couple in the situation.
making a virtue of necessity face the shower scrub that from the beginning of the path, Scrubb each other's back.
the path splits in two areas: the water and the relaxation.
the water course includes: swimming, jet to the cervical, swimming, walking in water, Kneipp pool, whirlpool, relaxation area with deck chairs near the fireplace.
we leave. decide immediately that we got up to avalon to work hard and forget it now swim and walk in water, immediately dall'idromassaggio, located at the bottom of the tank, which is accessed via stairs treacherous hidden by the bubbles, in which promptly stumble badly and loudly.
and would not be so disastrous if it were not massage the area right in front of the fireplace where we can be easily observed by all people who are camping there had rightly thought "bullshit ste let them do to women, we are here to talk about football."
after the massage to make people think the series and we start to Kneipp.
now, I do not know if Mr. Gino Kneipp was sadistic or masochistic, I just know that walking on the stones that make you feet hurt, and give you the gait of a monk seal while water jets ranging from -20 ° to +200 ° if it makes you ankles kate moss is just unnecessary torture and I I will not ever again.
proven by experience we head to the swimming where we determine that it is not worth undergo an immense effort just to stand still in place, with the only advantage to lose to every movement of costume pieces, if men are the only public engaged or married. and ugly.
the jet for the neck but is basically a rain of stones that you come back to unprecedented violence, making you feel like a warrior in the fall of the walls of Gondor. and also makes you do same facial expressions.
at this point we deserve the tea by the fire, too bad it is served in coffee cups. without spoons or stirrers to turn sugar. we use a finger, we are women who do not get lost in a cup of tea, but this is the straw that makes us understand that we have had enough of the water course.
you go to the location careless relaxation: sauna, turkish bath, Scottish shower, emotional shower, throw ice cream at the ankles for the movement, wooden platforms with cushions for relaxing in wicker with other herbal tea.
decide now that we have suffered enough and that there will be cold shower.
also emotional shower can go to hell, is just too gay for us and we have no desire to give even more performance out of that thing in tears and sobbing phrases mutilated on our emotional wounds.
but we underestimated the jets, they feel, after two seconds have already fallen asleep with the cold feet and balls full of all this hate (cited Edik).
establish wander languidly between sauna and turkish bath and herbal tea. but we have not reckoned with:
- the ugly guy in the sauna that mumbles incoherent words about his blood pressure and spends his time taking the pulse and the jugular
- the other guy in the turkish bath absurd that it is nestled and make sounds suspicious and unidentified
- just another guy out of head slumped in front of the tea preventing access to anyone, and I climb over the indefatigable marta with the grace of the ninja a couple of times but then gave up in front of the fucking tiny cups there too.
short, we have finished the whole half an hour earlier than expected, exasperated, and we head towards the restaurant where we will be served a gourmet dinner provided in the package.
are 20. There will accommodate up to 20.30. Meanwhile, waiting in the cold and frost.
stocazzo welfare.
today I have a cough and a sore back.
give me back the hammam.
Westerners are too steeped in the Lutheran approach to atone for sins and feel good to understand something of wellness.
ps and then I wanted to say thanks to everyone who has continued to follow this blog, although in recent years we have written every blue moon.
0 comments:
Post a Comment